Just want to spend some time penning down (literally not penning down, but whatever) my thoughts before I go for my night run with Amanda and Mei Xuan later.
For the past week or so, I've spent everyday mugging for at least a few hours and if you haven't realize.. I have been trying really hard to cultivate the spirit of being prepared for my lectures and tutorials. I like the fact that I know what my lecturers and tutors were talking about and this was a change as compared to my JC days where I would not even bother to print Momo's Geog notes even if there's a lecture on that day.
However, I find this process really very demanding and it makes me stressed a little. I know this is beneficial to me but I can't help but to feel desperate and helpless at times especially when I'm one of those people who needs to put in twice the amount of effort to absorb the notes, nevertheless to understand the concepts.
Also, it doesn't help that I have 7 modules (+1 project service learning) to juggle with. Just now I was studying in the library where I can't help but to feel discouraged that I am so limited and I really need to pray for God to impart his wisdom to me. It's like, I barely finished the lecture notes for the next day (and that's not counting the time that needs to be spend on tutorials in future) and then the next day I need to start reading up the notes for the next day again. 7 modules is not fun, even if they are 3 AUs each, it's actually really taxing and really brain draining. I feel like a vicious cycle is happening as I spend my time away reading notes after notes and barely have time for my own source of entertainment.
Okay, maybe I'm at this adjusting period where I need to start tuning my life to doing the right things in life. But I really hope that next semester I don't have so many modules. I feel extremely saddened especially when I see all my friends doing like 4 to 5 modules and they have like 1 free day in a week and only 2 hours of lesson on each day. It's like.. this boy with magnum running to the other boy and laughing at him because he only has paddle pop. Quite sad right?
Well, i'm going to be optimistic and rejoice because at least I have paddle pop.. like you know, doing the subjects I like to do (lessons are/were really interesting) as well as having a bunch of supportive friends around me. I was thinking of one word to describe my entire day today and was deriving at words like "sucky.. stupid.. demoralizing..." when I realized that the word that I really want to use would be "blessed".
Blessed because I am blessed. Thankful for all the things that is happening in my life right now. At least I'm tired because I'm trying to do the right thing to study hard. I'll keep fighting. (:
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